India is a land full of diverse, amazing as well as crazy things. And the Barbers in India are no exception either. Watch out for some hilarious ones as you discover various regions of the country.
1. Kaam se matlab rakhnewaala Barber
This barber is one of those ‘focused only in his work’ types. You go, sit, get hair-cut and you’re done. No talks nothing. You just keep staring at his work in the mirror. The only sound that you would be hearing is the tick tick sound of the scissors as they cruise over your hair. When the barber’s done with the hair-cut he’ll just move aside and you pay him and walk away. Smooth! But yeah these type of barbers are kinda boring. The silence really gets to you and you’ll start feeling uncomfortable.
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2. Touchy-touchy Barber
Well this barber will dance all over your private space. He’ll touch your neck, nape, nose, temple, ears, chin… i mean… literally all over your face! You’ll be looking at yourself in the mirror wide-eyed, trying to guess the spot where he’ll touch next! Then he’ll turn your head around, back, forth, sideways, diagonally and all through 90 degrees! And when he’s done you’ll touch your neck, just to check if its alright.
3. Portable Barber
This one carries his work wherever he goes. You meet him in railway stations, bus-stops or market places usually. He’ll just ask: Seth, dhaadi karna he? And you’ll look at him from top to bottom and reply: Ha dhaadi karna to he par… yaha?? Then he’ll smile and open his suit-case, smear foam on your face and some swish swoosh with his blade and you’re done! Pretty awesome right? But the sad part is that they are pretty much extinct these days. You’ll be lucky if you spot one!
4. Bhaaloo Barber
This barber is a hairy one! And its ummm… what’s the word for it… gross!! He’ll be close to you and his chest-hair would be popping out of his shirt, staring at you like the black venom symbiotes in the movie- Spiderman 3! Ughh!!
When it’s very hot, they’ll not wear shirt and at one moment you’ll find yourself shoved up in their hairy armpit!
5. Talkative Barber
If you’re in off-mood then it’s highly recommended that you avoid these type of barbers. They are ultimate chatterbox! They’ll converse with you wholeheartedly even if you reply them with monosyllables.
*Conversation*
Barber: Aur seth, kya haal he?
You: Bas sab thik.
Barber: Aapke baal kaafi curly he! Straightening kara lo!
You: Nahi.
Barber: Bhaiyya, aapke face pe tanning ho rahi he, massage kara lo. Pores khul jayenge.
You: 😐
Barber: Aur seth? Shaving karenge?
You: Nahi bas itna hi.
*Can’t write more*
Talkative barbers are good normally. It never gets boring and you enjoy talking to them sometimes. But in your grumpy mood? Nada!
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6. Mosquito Barber
These type of barbers continuously hum on a tune during the entire hair-cut session. And they just keep moving around your ears, you feel like a mosquito is flying about your ears and it gets REALLY irritating!
Best to way to avoid the irritation? Well try guessing the song that he’s humming.
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7. Jawed Habib
Well, this man is the reason why the above mentioned barbers are losing their customers. He does not need any explicit explanation. This man made his career and business out of human hair!
Febin Benjamin is ‘one -of-a-kind’ type of guy who believes in enjoying life to the fullest. Loves to joke on everything that comes across his sight. He is an engineering graduate from Pimpri-Chinchwad College of Engineering. Besides that, he is a regular blogger/content writer, occasional poet and has also served as an editor for a recently published novel.
