Adulting 101: A Lesson Through Memes

End of semester is nearing and if you’re among the ones to step into the world, we’ve got a crash course on adulting and we believe this could be the best study material ever used. Let’s begin!

You are about to leave your safe space, your easy-access-to-friends environment, your cheap meals and a lot more. You’re doe-eyed and ready to step out the premises of your university. One can almost hear an optimistic background score.

You begin with the basics- a job! All set to begin your career, you are determined to be professional, on time, a team-player and in short, the best employee ever. Day 1 is here. Then day 2. And then 3 and so on. Not much changes with each passing day. It’s not terrible at all. But it feels like somebody turned down the volume on that optimistic background score.

You have disagreements at work, but civility is priority. You take a deep breath and use an alternative choice of words to convey what is on your mind.

Soon, things simmer down and you realize the only constant is the opening line of correspondence between you and your colleagues.

Next up, a roof above your head. Unless you have a benevolent relative who will let you freeload on their resources, get ready for the grind. Hasty subscriptions to multiple ‘flat & flatmates’ and ‘no broker’ groups are made. You’re a bachelor and with that most options are not available to you. Count your lucky stars if you meet that one saint of a landlord who identifies that there are people who want to live a life before marriage.

Fuel for yourself is next on the list. You now begin to identify with the person you called kanjoos (miserly). It strikes you that you paid four thousand for your last pair of shoes without hesitating for  second, but the prices of vegetables suddenly make you uneasy. It is now that you unleash your bargaining skills. Happy with the couple of rupees that you’ve saved, you earmark this experience as a productive and successful one.

With Three Idiots as our reference point, we call this the ‘Raju Rastogi ki Ma’ phase. Side note: Bhindi costs a lot more than 12 rupees/kg nowadays.

Also, bear in mind that fruits and vegetables purchased with your own money tend to rot at an accelerated rate than when they were bought with your parent’s money.

Another crucial element for initiating oneself into adulting is the feeling of unbelievable loss every time you pay rent. You are that sad soul who is making it out in the world and rent and other expenses are bullies who will beat you to the ground and hope you stay there. Bounce back, you warrior! Once the rent and other expenses are gone, look for inexpensive things to find happiness in.

Books and movies have always tried to sell ‘find happiness in the little things’ message. It was never to develop good character. They were always trying to teach us a method of survival.

Temporary escapism from reality will become something that you’re familiar with. It could be anything. Any experience that lets you wind down and forget your troubles. Your vice or your escape route could range from binge-watching series to good ol’ alcohol. For the sake of your health, let’s hope it’s the former and not the latter.

There is nothing like tax season to make you realize that your school never prepared you for the important things in life. Figuring out your taxes for the first time can be a hassle. Soak that experience in. It is rather humbling and a reminder that it is best to be prepared for situations like this in the future. More importantly, it took me back to the days where hours were spent learning geometry and calculus and NOTHING about how taxes work! Why, education system, why?

Meeting other adults who seem to have it all figured out will leave you with your jaw-dropped. Soak that in too. It is a wake-up call to take care of yourself better. You try a few different things, most of them won’t stick because they need too much effort. But thanks to the fact that we are creatures of habit, you’ll hang to a set routine that works for you. Hang in there!

Also, remember. Nobody has got it figured out. Think of adulting as a lifelong version of Bandersnatch. Just that, you’ll never know what would have happened if you had picked another option.

The beautiful part about adulting is that you can eat an entire cake in one sitting if you want to. However, that’s the problem with adulting too. You give yourself the reins to control you. So on some days, take it easy and make it a rule to not adult.

Also, remember. Nobody has got it figured out. Think of adulting as a lifelong version of Bandersnatch. Just that, you’ll never know what would have happened if you had picked another option.

That being said….

Everybody lives through adulthood because there are definite positives to it. Like your house can become a home, flatmates turn into lifelong friends, you get to plan and achieve things that you’ve dreamt of but could never have, and you take joy in what you cook for yourself and others. And because that lingering feeling of being lost is never going to go away, there is beauty in knowing that literally anything could happen next.