Game of Thrones S06E01 : The Red Woman Reveals a Dark Ancient Secret

Internet activity probably surged 10-20% this morning in India and all over the world. People at google probably might be chilling, wondering that nobody’s gonna google shit today except for Game of Thrones. That theme song came on and my soul was set free from the year long burden that I carried. There would’ve been a tsunami and I wouldn’t have given a flying f*ck. So let us geographically go through GoT S06E01 and what all surprises it has.

Yes, please let’s get it over with it. Jon Snow is dead.. ohh ahh.. If you’re one of those people who think’s he’s dead and not coming back, please get out of your cave and find this magical thing called internet. If you haven’t memorized the R+L=J theory by now, you aren’t a Throner.

We were all prepared for Jon Snow’s dead body, Ser Alliser’s assumption of the castle’s command, Edd, Ser Davos and few brothers’ reaction. What was shocking was Melissandre’s grief. Her prophecies seem to be taking nose dives these days. With Stannis dead and now Jon, her cockinesss in her fire god and his magic seems to be waning off.

Thank god Ser Davos is still level headed. Clever man the onion night; calling for wildling reinforcements, smart! Ghost looks gorgeous, I mean the concept of pet has been forever poisoned in my head. I’m gonna get my kids a flipping direwolf and that’s the end of it.

One important revelation for the book readers, of the many to follow, was Melissandre’s ruby. Book readers know more about the stone and its magic and we’ve long since suspected she was an old hag.

D&D just blew open that one. We suspected this might be the case, show leading the books, it satisfying to settle some theories but unnerving to watch shit over others. Also I can never again imagine Clarice Vou Houten naked. EVER!

It’s like first season all over again. The Wall and then Winterfell. So many memories *cries in a corner*. Ramsay’s kind of eulogy was sweet and unexpected. Reminiscing old stories, masochism and then enters a girl… It’s not until he says feed her to the hounds that we realize this is not a some romantic side of Ramsay.

Roose Bolton confirms Stannis’ death. All those grammar Nazis out there and Stannis the Mannis people, I feel you. But hope is not why we watch this show. If hope is what you want go watch pogo.

A reckoning will come, armed and provisioned Lannister army, I need you to prepare the entire north to face them…” – Roose Bolton

*goosebumps* We can see the doubt on Ramsay’s face; no heir, no Winterfell (not that he’s ever gonna get it).

Sansa and Theon or should I say Bonnie and Clyde. Running all over country, killing people. Brienne finally gets to suck upto to a Stark girl (good for you Brienne, good for you) by saving her from Ramsay’s ‘good men’ and a few hounds, we hope she won’t be such a dick to our dear old Podrick who by the way has got very very good at swordsmanship.

Oh Cersei, we miss your long beautiful golden hair too. She actually smiles, from her heart and shit. Her “..so good and so pure..” daughter was her salvation. We all know what happened when Joffery died, Cersei went thermonuclear. Imagine what she would do for Myrcella. All things aside Lena Heady is one of the most amazing actress of the entire cast. Everyone hates her, but still in that moment we all felt sad for her.

Fuck prophecy? Dear Jaime, the series is called ‘A Song of Ice and Fire’ its basically a prophecy. The entire reason why India woke up at 6:30 am is for a fucking prophecy.

We thought Septa Unella was harsh with Cersei; one look at Margeary and I remember Reek. We are excited for what’s in store for out Queen and High Sparrow too. Pope Francis, you got some heavy competition.

WHaaaaat the Fuuuuuccck..!

I hated the Dornish, from the bottom of my heart and wanted them dead. But you killed the wrong ones. Doran and Aero Hotah were the only Dornish characters worth watching. Ellaria and the sand snakes plotting a Coup is the worst thing ever. But now that Prince Doran is dead, I’m happy for him as he wouldn’t have to bear with yet another monologue from Obara #MuhOberynnzz

But I must say D&D got me excited. What happens next?

Our favorite duo is back. Tyrion and Varys have, hands down, the best best conversations in the entire show. Well it’s the same for anyone paired with Tyrion but with Varys its even more so.

We see another Red priest preaching in Meereen. One can’t help but wonder if the Seven and the R’hllor too are playing the Game of Thrones. We know who were rooting for right, the Old gods duhhh. To say that Mereen is in chaos is an understatement. Ships burning, paranoid people, psychotic killers with gold masks… (and the two dragons in the dungeons).

Erstwhile somewhere east Daario and Jorah seem to be bonding too. Talking about girls and growing old (grayscale alert), so cute. I was wondering how in seven hells will anyone find Daenerys’ fucking ring in all that grass. Touché set production, touché.

Dothraki’s talking dirty is NOT hot. All the guttural and snarling and spitting… The casting for the Dothraki hoarde must’ve been a pain. The sheer number of people is staggering.

Now Emilia talking Dothraki, that’s hot. I prefer high Valyrian, but I’ll take what I get. Too bad she couldn’t talk her way out of this. Not that she ever does. We’re gonna have to wait for Drogon to come. CGI people, make sure he’s bigger and badder this time.

Blind Arya looks miserable. Not that I remember seeing her happy, when was that first episode of first season, that’s it right. She’s been miserable ever since. Blind training looks brutal. But we knows its gonna pay off. We saw her jump over the bridge and shit. We know winter is coming be it the North or Braavos.