Getting a dog is a great responsibility. Also it takes a whole lot of convincing (other people). If undertaking responsibility and convincing aren’t your greatest strengths, worry not.
We have the perfect guide that will teach you ‘How To Not End Up Having A Pet Dog’ in 9 easy steps!
Step 1:
Have an overly cleanliness-freak mother, the more crazy she is about not having dog fur all over the house, the better.
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Or if you don’t have such a mother, become that freak.
Step 2:
Make sure you don’t find cute photos of dogs over the internet or on your Dad’s phone when he secretly went to pet dogs.
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The dog-kingdom (or as I like to call it: dogdom) is very powerful and they can bring your will down by their cuteness.
Step 3:
If you have a pun-ny name for the dog, you have to have a sibling who will ruin everything by planning to name the dog Moti.
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If not, I’m sorry; you have a dog with a clever name. Don’t let that happen.
Step 4:
When your relatives come over to meet the dog, the dog has to be agitated enough to bark at them all throughout their visit.
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That will eventually have your mother stare at you with a look of “This wasn’t a good idea, I’m going to disown you and the dog.”
Step 5:
Do not show cute pictures of your pet dog to your friends who are too attached with animals, especially the ones who say
“Oh, your dog looks so cute. I’m gonna come over and eat him up, look at its paws.”
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Step 6:
Try not to look at dogs on the street, in your college canteen, or anywhere for that matter.
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The only way to stop yourself from getting a dog is to believe they don’t exist.
Step 7:
If you’re stupid enough to let yourself get a pet dog, no worries. There are ways to undo that.
If your pet happens to sit next to you, make sure you don’t have an eye-contact.
No eye-contact!
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Those eyes will eventually make you fall for him/her.
Step 8:
Blame everything on the dog, so even if your mother is a dog-loving person, she will start having troubles with the dog’s behavior and finally let go of him/her.
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Dropped coffee on that expensive teak wood table? The dog did it.
Didn’t do your homework? The dog ate it up.
Having problems with your grades at school? The dog again!
Step 9:
If you follow the above steps and successfully avoid getting a pet dog, or get rid of your existing pet dog…
Kill Yourself!
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Shweta Mustare. A girl living in Pune, India, waiting for life to give the big break. Blogger, Thinker, sometimes funny, always a weirdo.
