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Game of Thrones Season 5 Episode 7 : The Gift | Spoiler-coated Review

THE POST CONTAINS SPOILERS!!!

This episode brings us the 4th ranging beyond the wall by the brothers of the nights watch. Only this time it’s not for killing any wildlings. Episode 7 from season 5 is considered to be the best one so far with no shocking deaths, no violence (as compared to other incidents on the show), a big relief to see the justice served. Let us walk you through the episode.

The Loathsome Alliance

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Lord commander Jon snow is going to Hardhome, with Tormund Giantsbane, for making an alliance with the wildlings. Obviously not a single brother from the Nights Watch support his decision, including Samwell Tarly. This does not in any way mean that the decision Jon Snow is making is wrong. If anything, that’s the most ingenious idea the Nights Watch has come up with after building The Wall. Jon gives Ser Alliser Thorne the command at Castle Black which we know is gonna bite him the arse later. Sam gives Jon a bag full of DragonGlass just in case he runs into any white walkers.

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Maester Aemon is dying. Sooner than we expected. He’s not lost his mind like he did in the books, we would’ve heard a lot more stories than just a mention of Aegon V Targaryen (Egg he called him.). He warns Gilly to go south. Because even a Targaryen knows Winter is Coming.

The North Suffers

Sansa is being treated brutally ever since. It is considered as Marital rape but come on people after all that we’ve seen in this show, if you loose your mind over a sadist nut job doing it with his wife a little north-of-rough style, I think its time to start watching High school Musicial. Ofcourse no one bats an eye when the same thing happened to Daenerys, and mind you she was younger than Sansa was.

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Anyhow Sansa is in a pretty bad shape. D&D give us hope yet again. Just for a moment we think Reek will do the right thing by helping Sansa give away a signal to her friends in the North. But this isn’t your everyday soap opera. This is Holy mother of Television. Reek rats Sansa out. Brienne the beauty is as useful as nipples on a breastplate. Oh Reek! You mothafu*kin piece of shit!

And Now His Watch is Ended!

Needless to say almost every death is a sad one in the show. But this one in particular was a major loss of an underrated character. Aemon Targaryen was not only the blood of the dragon that lived through a dozen Lord Commanders at Castle Black, but he was also one of the most respected maesters in the world.

“At the wall, a dozen Lord Commanders came and went during his years of service, but he was always there to counsel them. He was the blood of the dragon, but now his fire has gone out. And now his watch is ended.”

– Samwell Tarly

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The Citadel just like the rest of the world cast him aside. He could’ve been an archmaester. Hell! He was supposed to be the King of the Seven kingdoms. You don’t know true humility unless you’ve met this character.

The Bastards' Talk

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Snowy day in Winterfell. She pulls a nice burn on Ramsay on that bastard thing. Which indirectly leads her to her half brother’s news. 998th Lord commander of the Nights watch. Delighted as she is, this news doesn’t bring her any real comfort. Ramsay does his thing. My favorite character of season 5 is skinned alive. That old lady who says, “The North Remembers”, *sobs*, without her our poor Sansa is all alone for the night is dark and full of sick and sadist bunch of people.

There's Power in the King's Blood

Stannis’ army is stuck in the snow. Literally. But he’s as stubborn as a mule. Victory or Defeat sounds better when you’re in an actual battle. But what if you’re army fizzle out even before you reach the enemy?

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Melissandre still dodging questions that actually matter and giving crappy advice. Her luck is about to run out sometime. Oh wait, did she just ask Stannis’ permission to kill the Princess? That too when we saw Stannis as the best contender for “Dad of the Century Award” couple of episodes ago? Oh boy, bad move Red Lady, bad move.

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Sam the (S)layer

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You leave a woman alone in a Castle full of murderers and rapists and don’t see this coming, then my friend you’ve got a problem. Absence of Jon and Maester Aemon, allowed the nut jobs to grow a pair. Our dear Sam takes a brutal beating but heroes always get up don’t they? No matter how many times they’re knocked down they stand up and fight the bad guys. Oh Ghost was there too huh. Didn’t see that bigass, scary direwolf come around. Oh and the hero always gets the girl too, right? Well so did our boy Sam. Fuck the oath the fatf**k finally got laid.

Make Way to Meereen

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The auction of our beloved Tyrion was a dull affair. Nevertheless we see his prowess of words and some strength. Jorah Mormont looks fine for now. No new symptoms of GrayScale yet.

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The (not really) Noble Queen

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Khaleesi. As if Daario bedding our silver queen wasn’t enough even the pillow talk is exciting. Another Red Wedding he suggests. But Dany’s far too noble for such a thing. If ever asked Kill or be killed, she will always have the same answer. Dracarys motherf#$%.

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The Queen Thorned

I just love that old hag. She’s so feisty. And our humble High Sparrow is a perfect match for her. Their so called sparring session with words was a treat for the ears. One blow after another. Left, right. Left, left, body and then bam an upper cut. He mentions the power of people against the power of highlords to Lady Olenna.

“You are the few, we are the many.” – High Sparrow

Kudos to Johnathan Pryce. Excellent acting. As she walks out of the High Sept, a letter awaits her. Wait a minute, was that a mocking bird on that letter? I guess we still have round two.

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Who will hatch Cuckoo's Egg?

Got-s5e7-lena-headeySeems our little King Tommen isn’t little anymore. Fasting, threatening war. Attaboy. Atleast you are thinking something useful. Cersei explains very well how inconsequential Power is if not used wisely. But then our boy goes and breaks his mommy’s heart. Love? Really? Margaery is trying to steal him away from Cersei and he confesses his love of her to his mother. Well played, you shmuck. And then you see the fire in those smoldering green eyes of the lioness. Lena Headey, just kills those lines. I mean oh my god. I love you too mom.

Myrcella 'Martell' Already

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What the hell was that? Did you understand a single word she said? Bla blab la.. bla bla.. bla bla bah. Jaime looks just like a normal Uncle *cough Dad cough cough* with a teenage daughter. Only a little more helpless. I liked Myrcella when she was little. This teen one sucks.

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Bronn is happy wherever you put him. A cold dark cell where he should be begging for mercy, he sings. The sand snakes finally do something worthwhile. Boobies. Tyene, supposedly the smallest of them all, lures Bronn to get up to show him the effects of the poison her double daggers did. Only to give him the sole vial of the antidote if he admits she is the most beautiful dornish woman. I take it back. With Nym and Obara rolling their eyes at semi-naked Tyene, the sand snakes plot SUCKS. Big time. We want Euron Greyjoy. We want Quentyn. We want Arianne.

Stepping on the Thorn

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Back in Kings Landing, Lady Olenna and Littlefinger reminisce about how they killed Joffrey. The Queen of Thorns has him by the balls and he knows it. But what does Harvey Specter say,

“If someone pulls a gun on you, you pull a bigger one.” 

Or in this case duck. His schemes know no bound. He’s so good at being bad, you just have to appreciate it.

Our Friendzoned Knight

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In East, the free men/slavers (whatever you call them) begin the preliminary rounds of the Ultimate Fighting Championship. Oh wait, that’s not it. Well its something like that only with weapons. Our friendzoned Knight gets a boner as soon as he hears “…. Queen.” Still deep in friendzone he goes out into the pit to save his queen the trouble of looking at some blood.

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I mean come on. She can see people being roasted alive and eaten but sight of little blood makes her queasy? Or is it because it slave something…. I don’t even want to go there. Well speaking of same old things we hate, where are all her pretty little dresses? I confess, the white gown is exquisite and the fits perfectly. But what’s with the cape all season long? She ain’t no Batman. Neither can she fly. Oh…wait maybe that’s why. Tyrion tries to cut the iron chains with a knife. I mean we know you are desperate but come on. Use your words, or that big guy. Aah! The Gift. Now I get it…

What Goes Around, Comes Around

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Margaery rots in the cells of Red Keep. Cersei gloats. High Sparrow does What? We hear the lines from the trailer, and they are much more frightening in the actual sequence. The High Sparrow is slowly becoming one of the most unpredictable character this season. Septa Unella. I swear by the Old gods and New and the Seven and the Red god and the Many faced ones, I have never been more happier to see any other character in my life.

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Cersei’s time is here. Shes getting served. And boy oh boy did I celebrate when they locked her up. Things are about to get interesting. Tommen is all Alone. What will he do?  Who comes to Cersei’s rescue? Why is Brienne still getting paid?

The next episode. Hardhome is gonna be full of action. Until then, Valar Morghulis.

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